I get extremely frustrated by loud sounds and noises made by my family and it makes me very irritable and angry.
I'm a new Stoic and I usually try not to let if affect me but it gets the best of me most of the time. How do I apply stoic principles to keep myself calm and not be angry?
Hi @araniko, welcome to the forum!
To answer your question, acknowledge that all emotions come from within. As Marcus Aurelius said,
“Today I escaped anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions — not outside.”
It is not outside forces that make us feel something, it is what we tell ourselves that create our feelings. A blank document, canvas, or unmarked to-do list is not inherently stressful—it’s your thoughts that are stressing you out.
Many of us want to place blame and responsibility on external objects because it’s easy to do, but the truth remains that all conflicts start internally, in our minds. When we flee from reality—a deadline, an urgent email—we are doing nothing but harming ourselves and undermining our self-discipline.
The next time you run into an obstacle and feel resistance, don’t look at what’s around you. Instead, look within.
Hi @araniko. Let me share with you a paragraph I read, written by Seneca: As Seneca wrote in his essay on anger, “the best plan is to reject straightway the first incentives to anger, to resist its very beginnings, and to take care not to be betrayed into it: for if once it begins to carry us away, it is hard to get back again into a healthy condition, because reason goes for nothing when once passion has been admitted to the mind, and has by our own free will been given a certain authority, it will for the future do as much as it chooses, not only as much as you will allow it. The enemy, I repeat, must be met and driven back at the outermost frontier-line: for when he has once entered the city and passed its gates, he will not allow his prisoners to set bounds to his victory.”
@araniko "Any person capable of angering you becomes your master." These are the worlds of Epictetus. Never succumb to anger for it is very destructive and it will only hard you inside and out. meditate and concentrate. Have a good workout in the morning. It will help with anger managements.
Hello @araniko, this is what I do to keep myself calm and control my emotions whenever I encounter situations that make me angry. I always say to myself that everything we do has consequences. So I ask myself, what will happen if I let my anger control me instead of me controlling my anger? By doing this method, I always remained calm and it helped me to make the right decisions whenever I encounter such situations. I hope this helps and welcome to the community! 🙂
@araniko I suggest you try meditation. That can help you relax and clear your mind if ever you hit your limit again. By the way, welcome to the community!
@margaux I agree, meditation puts your mind at ease. It may seem easy but it's going to take a bit of practice, but hey, at the end of that practice, you'll be more in control of yourself at that point. I'm new as well but we have to have control, I usually close my eyes and count to a number to help me meditate, most the time the anger goes away some times it doesn't, but it does keep me calmer than usually. Hope it helps@araniko