Don't hide your emo...
 
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Don't hide your emotions!


Margaux Dizon
(@margaux)
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Some people, I've seen, when faced with a huge pain (like death or unemployment or breakups...) they try to hide their emotions just because they think being rational will solve the problems.

Look, hiding your emotions is a pain. Even if for a day (or a week) you get better (better said you feel better), you really aren't. Don't hide your emotions because it will result in more problems in your future such as depression, anxiety, or even worse.

That being said, please take a look at Antonio's Damasio Book "Decartes' Error" where the author, one of the best neuroscientists of today, speaks about a patient of his that literally had no emotion due to a (now prohibited by law) type of surgery.

He, then, mentions the classic premise and that it was though the fewer emotions you have the better. As you can read through the book, that is both almost impossible to have and really, really, drastically bad.

 

Now, let me get your opinions on the matter. I hope everything is well with you and have a nice day.


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Jacob Stephens
(@jacobstoic)
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There is a difference between being emotionless for example, trying to suppress yourself from feeling emotion, which I agree can lead to psychological problems, and not being ruled by your emotions like letting your emotions control you.

Picture this, when a loved one dies, I feel the full range of emotions at that passing. I make no effort to try and suppress or avoid feeling those emotions; they're natural and there is nothing wrong with that.

But I see no benefit in publicly displaying those emotions; I see no benefit in allowing those emotions to cloud my judgement and control my other thoughts and actions. Since there are no benefits to be gained from this (and much potential harm, to myself and others), I refuse myself that indulgence.


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Richard Hawkins
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We are humans and emotions are a part of who we are. Someone once explained it to me like this. Using anger as an example, if we don't process our emotion, then our anger becomes a mood. If we keep this anger in us and do not process it, then this mood becomes a thought pattern. We take it with us into our final decisions. Over a longer period of time this anger becomes more and more a part of our personality.

If this person would have been aware from the beginning that it carries anger in itself and would have dealt with the cause, it would not have come so far. It is often the typical things: own bad living conditions, experiences and events. Everyone else is to blame but not myself. But instead of rationally starting to recognize where the real problem is and to bring a change there, this person continues to be guided by his emotion like a small child.


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lainedunc
(@lainedunc)
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@jacobstoic

I'm a bit confused by your post...you say you make no effort to suppress, but then you say you make effort to not publicly display...to me that sounds pretty close to suppression? If you feel like crying, are you saying you make effort not to?

Also, I'm curious as to why think there are no benefits to be had from showing emotions, and only harm? Some of the moments that have brought me closest to my friends have been when we share vulnerabilities, and I think you can share emotions like that without being swept away by them. Thoughts?


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gardnermcgee
(@gardnermcgee)
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@lainedunc

To me, there is a difference between feeling emotions internally and displaying those emotions externally. Suppressing the external display of emotion does not mean that I am stopping myself from experiencing those emotions internally. Your question suggests that you feel that disconnecting the internal and external expression of emotion is not possible, but I assure you that with enough effort and practice, it can be done.

So yes, unless I feel that there is some benefit to myself and others from displaying emotions externally, I will not do so. That doesn’t mean that I cannot share my feelings with others; just that I do so with considered words and actions; not with standard displays on uncontrolled emotion.

I’m not just talking about emotions such a grief or happiness where there may be benefits to both allowing myself to feel them as well as sharing them with others. I’m mainly concerned about more negative emotions such as anger, hate, envy, fear, where the public manifestation of such can lead to irreparable damage to yourself and others. Those negative emotions I tend to suppress both internally and externally because in almost every case they cause me more damage than benefit in the long run. But I am not perfect and on occasion, under extreme duress, I fail to totally control my emotions and have to deal with the consequent fallout. I am only human after all, or so the guy behind me keeps whispering in my ear.


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frankrichardson1979
(@frankrichardson1979)
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What's great about Stoicism is that you learn how to value yourself, you learn how to react to your own emotions and you can't control your partner/date/hook-up's feelings...why the hell isn't Stoicism taught more in the dating scene?? Part of Stoicism is not giving a shit what other people think about you, that is a perfect principle for dating. Sometimes you get ghosted (whatever, that's her/his decision) and sometimes you're not their type (that's fine, hope he/she can find happiness with someone else). Yes it's hard, and yes it can downright be depressing when you get your heartbroken. But something I've learned from a heartbreak (and this is coming from a guy who wears his heart on a sleeve) is this...you can choose to use that heartbreak as an opportunity to grow.

So many people get themselves heartbroken in the worst ways and in the the most extreme cases suicidal! The best part about dating is this...there are plenty of other options. 7.7 BILLION people on this and he/she is the "only" one for you? Whether you're just hooking up or finding a steady relationships, at the end of the day you're still a master of your own emotions. Now sometimes you may catch feelings (again I'm a victim of this too), but you learn that's there really isn't "the one" but more "the one for you". You learn that you can find love with almost anyone if the chemistry is right.

These are just my 2 cents, I want to know what you're all beautiful individuals think of this too.


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Walikirito
(@walikirito)
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I think hiding emotions is counter to the very nature that we are a part of hiding or suppression of these natures is something that is against our very being. Just being able to live our lives in such a manner of hiding would only result in pain altogether. Sharing those emotions as one can with another a better way to live a fuller life without having to bear a the weight that emotions can carry. As a social animal humans have to keep a check on our emotions but hiding is not the way

 


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