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Question About Respect From a Stoic Point of View


lainedunc
(@lainedunc)
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If someone were to ask you "do you have respect for someone", what would that mean in a Stoic sense?

This may count as a separate question but like, say you work with someone who has polar opposite moral views from you - feminism vs anti-feminism, views on BLM and social justice, views on men vs women, all of it. I can get along with these people well enough to work with them and I understand that their views are out of my control, all of that. It doesn't keep me up at night or upset me anymore, but can you say that you respect someone if you disagree with them so thoroughly?

Say you get along with someone day-to-day and you're generally friendly but they've made mistakes in the past that they still stand behind and defend, how can you help but not think less of them?

Epictetus said "the key is to keep company only with those who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best" so there is an idea of not wanting to be around those kinds of people, no?


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gardnermcgee
(@gardnermcgee)
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An inability to see color isnt the same thing as seeing both points of view and choosing "wrong". I've read that perspective and I do understand it, I just dont think it's entirely comparable

Anyway, my point is, do I think just the same of everyone, regardless of how much I agree or disagree with them?


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Richard Hawkins
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Well, they have come to their views by their history and their way of thinking. It is the correct view for them. That's the same process as to how you got to your opinions. They may find your opinions abhorrent, that doesn't make you a bad person, likewise theirs don't make them a bad person either. They may just be ignorant of what is the "good".

As an aside, your own opinions may be equally as wrong. The more I learn, the more I realize that even hard-felt opinions, that seem obvious, maybe slightly, or completely wrong. The world is simply unbelievably complicated, be open to change your own views, even if that makes you uncomfortable at first.


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Margaux Dizon
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I remember myself back when I was 14-15. I was what you would call a nice guy and someone who was blatantly racist. When I remember my actions I also remember that at the time I genuinely thought I was in the right and that I was doing the right/good thing.

We have to keep in mind that people who hold these kinds of opinions don't do it for the sake of being assholes, they genuinely believe they are in the right, and in these moments all we can do is never agree with anything they say that you think is wrong. But, don't try to actively change them as that will only add fuel to the fire. If they reach a point where you can tolerate it the only thing you can do is to stop associating with them.


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Jacob Stephens
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Different morals/opinions are fine, within reason. One thing I find myself losing respect over is if they’re willing to lie to themselves, lie to others, or be knowingly lied to themselves in order to protect their different views.

If it is not right, do not do it. If it is not true, do not say it.

Generally, if someone comes close to conducting themselves along the lines of that quote, I find it impossible not to respect them.


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frankrichardson1979
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I think what Epictetus meant by "uplifting" was to be around people who challenge you, not people who agree with you and inflate your ego. As far as respect I think it depends on your definition of respect and what it means to respect someone. I don't think someone's views are necessarily connected to the amount of respect they deserve. For example, I dont think a BLM supporter deserves respect simply because they support BLM. Also the opposite: an anti-BLM person doesn't deserve "disrespect" simply because they are anti-BLM.


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