I want to stop feeling
I can't control my emotions, I can't control most things in this world. Chaos and random chance could destroy me at any moment. I know I shouldn't try to control everything and yet I still do it. I know I shouldn't get angry or depressed about things that don't matter and yet I still do.
There is a disconnect between my rational and emotional thinking, I know I should or shouldn't be feeling a certain way yet I cannot control it. This infuriates me. I've tried mediation, it's sometimes helpful in the moment but it doesn't last, I can feel fine at one point then as soon as I react emotionally to something I start to hate myself and this life.
I despise my feelings so much that I often end most evenings wishing I was apathetic and devoid of emotion, I think I tried to act like that as a child to protect myself. It didn't work and it never does, I still wish for an emotionless mind. If I was apathetic I wouldn't even care that I lost my emotions.
You cannot stop feeling, theres inputs and outputs. Inputs will always affect you in some way but you can only control the output.
It's time to accept that emotions are part of being human. The more you force this, the worse it'll be in my opinion. You feel emotions and then feel even worse beating yourself up for feeling emotions. It's best to learn to manage emotions, not pretending you're going to be a robot.
Getting rid of your emotions sounds like a short term solution for a long term problem. Face yourself and ask these questions -Is it necessary? -Am i controlling myself to the best degree possible? -Is my head clouded by anger and disappointment, thus suppressing my rational thinking? You must learn to be constructive towards yourself, if you dont have the answer then use your best judgement, and if your judgement turns out bad then you have nothing to do but learn for next time. One of the first steps to loving yourself is being constructive and never self-abusing over mistakes. Im 23 and im still learning how to love myself and it seems like everyone i talk to has their shit together already but deep down everyone is gong through something similar even to the smallest of degrees. Your mind and concious are your best friend or your worst enemy, you would much prefer to go easy on yourself since you will be living with yourself until the day you cease to have life.
Hmmmm, I’d treat these feelings as an emergency, evaluate the controllable parts of my life that I could improve. Maybe, the emotions will or should improve, but if they don’t, look at how much better things would be. Eat healthy, workout, grooming, personal life, job, relationships, vices (anything you do “too much” or shouldn’t do at all), are these all dialed in max?
I hope to convey this in a helpful tone. The best cure for anxiety is action. Just my opinion and based from my experience.
@jacobstoic In my opinion this is how we realistically address strong emotion. Firstly, we need to make sure that emotion is not being magnified by limiting belief. Secondly, we need to develop courage, the ability to act constructively in the face of strong emotion.
It sounds like what you’re struggling with is more thinking than feeling. All feelings are valid, maybe it would be helpful for you to try and accept the feelings that you have as they are without tying any specific meaning to them. Hope this helps.
Having emotions is a good thing, it means you’re human. You shouldn’t try to suppress your emotions because then what is the point of life? You should only learn how to control them so they don’t dictate your actions and happiness.